I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
