I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
