i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
