Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
