the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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