i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
