I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
