It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
