I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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