well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He kissed a someone with a penis
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize