I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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