I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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