she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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