This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
