I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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