if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
