pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
