Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
