The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
