Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
