Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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