He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
