He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
