i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
