Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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