lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
