Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
