do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
