in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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