I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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