if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
