Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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