I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
