So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
