I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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