I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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