My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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