I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Green mimosas i think yes
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
