You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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