Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
