How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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