i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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