Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize