You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
