I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
