i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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