If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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