I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
