I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
All I want is dick and wine.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
