i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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