So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
