hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
