I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
sex in a hospital.. check
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
