so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
