I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
