Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
