we have officially lost it.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
