he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
