i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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