Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
