We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
