He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize