when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
