if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
