I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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