in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
