Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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