i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I want a musical about memes.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
