I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
