So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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