I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
