If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
