Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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