It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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