My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
