Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
