Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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