I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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