I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
