That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
