Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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