The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Randomize
