Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
