my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
